Thursday, January 24, 2013

Mad Coyote Joe’s World Famous All Purpose Cold Remedy

I was at the open mic at The Cave Creek Smokehouse last night.  My friend Hatman Dan was there and waiting to do his bit.  He mentioned that he was still, after three weeks, feeling the effects of this flu that is going around.  I told him that I would send him my home remedy for getting rid of those colds that reside in your chest, like a politician holding on to a lie! 
When I got up this morning and saw that the rest of the country was suffering from record low temperature I decided to post this on my blog.
But first a warning; if you have any heart problems, or a weak constitution I wouldn’t try this.  In fact you do this at your own risk!

Mad Coyote Joe’s World Famous All Purpose Cold Remedy 
This is legendary around our neighborhood.  Those that have tried it, will tell you it only works for the worst of colds, but work it does!

1 Extra large coffee mug
1 pot of very hot strong coffee
3 shots Bushmill's Irish Whiskey
1 heavy squeeze of fresh lemon juice
1 Tbl. Honey
a pinch of cinnamon

Vick’s Vaporub
A heavy sweatshirt
A large comforter on you bed

It’s best to have a spouse or friend to help you with this process.  Get the shower as hot as you can stand.  Step in and run the water on your face and chest, breathing in the steam.  Meanwhile have your accomplice take the mug and pour in a good sized cup of the coffee and add the whiskey, lemon juice, honey and cinnamon, stir well.  Turn off the shower and while standing in the steam drink the coffee beverage as fast as possible, being careful not to burn your mouth.  Step out of the shower and apply the Vick’s liberally to your chest, neck, behind your ears and on your nose and face.  Put on the sweatshirt and get into bed.
This is the important part, no matter how hot you get stay under the covers.  The hot shower will open all your pores and the whiskey will knock you out.  If you stay under the covers, the coffee will wake you up, in about three hours and the bed will be soaking wet.  You will have sweated the cold out. Thank me later!

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