Monday, January 28, 2013

Aisle Six a poem by Daigneault

Aisle Six                                                                                                                   by Daigneault

Okay, a mop, tin foil, ranch dressing, coffee, those little Mexican limes…

They’ve closed the local market
Just the other day

A brand new, shiny bistro
And I hear they have Pâté

Italian tile and marble
And foods from far away

Folks driving from the valley
Who’ve heard they have Pâté

Let’s see.  Milk, cheese, bleach, tampons, bacon, lettuce, avocados, bread, toilet paper… Hey kid, do you know where they’ve put the bleach?

Good morning Sir, I’d be glad to assist in making your shopping experience, this morning, the very best.  Could I interest you in a sample of our Goat’s cheese stuffed squash blossoms?

Uhh, thanks kid, but I was looking for the bleach…

Yes Sir, I know, I’ll just call the Home and Hearth Associate.  Perhaps Sir would enjoy a cappuccino while he waits?

No I’ve already had my coffee, but thanks.  Look, it used to be on aisle six by the fly swatters and the charcoal.

Well Sir, if the alfresco, culinary arts are your area of interest, we have an excellent Teak Wood, chunk charcoal mixed with sun-dried, old growth, zinfandel vines, pre-soaked in Kentucky bourbon…

They seem so young and friendly
To help in every way

I’m looking for the bleach
He’s offering Pâté

A tank with living lobsters
Pheasants baked in clay

And wine from every country
To help digest Pâté

Hello Sir, I understand you need the Home and Hearth Associate.  You’re in luck Sir.  He had a cancellation this afternoon.  I’m the Activities Concierge and I’d love to arrange a facial or massage during your wait… Did you get your cappuccino?

Look Frank…

I’m sorry SIR, it’s pronounced with a soft a… FRANC!

Uh… oh, okay, Franc; look you’ve got a real nice store here, but I’ve gotta get back and clean the toilet.  See we’re having a little barbecue this weekend and…

Has Sir heard about our excellent Teakwood…

YES… YES… YES, Sir is well aware of the Teak Wood charcoal.  Sir doesn’t need Teak Wood or cappuccino or even a facial. Sir needs some bleach, so Sir can go home and clean Sir’s toilet.

Well if Sir would like I could arrange for an in-home interview with our Personal Valet Associate.

Farewell my local market
Closed just the other day

This brand new shiny bistro
But I don’t eat Pâté

Just want to clean my toilet
Without the store’s valet

Folks driving from the valley
Who like to eat Pâté

Now where was I?  A toilet brush, hamburger buns, Flaming Cheetos, dog food, dish soap…

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